As we age, retire or accommodate a diagnosis that will change our lives, one of the things that becomes central is how we spend our time. Eighteen months ago I worked full time in a job that I loved, I spent about a month per year volunteering abroad, and spent many hours as a volunteer for local nonprofits. Now that I have cancer and have retired and moved 1000 miles from my former home, I need to look at the changes required to continue to stay active and involved in my new community.
I do know that staying at home and watching television or reading novels is not going to be good for me either physically or mentally. It is far too easy for someone who has a chronic and potentially fatal disease to retreat from the world and become centered on themselves and the disease process. That is not a healthy choice and can easily lead to a downward spiral. Instead, we need to focus on what we can do for our communities and for ourselves. A bonus with volunteering is to take our minds off of ourselves and on to others who have needs that we can help them to reach.
My volunteerism for the last decade has been centered on the activities of the Maasai American Organization and involves working with schools and clinics primarily in Kenya, but also in Guatemala. Once back in the US, we sell crafts made in those countries to support projects in education or healthcare, many Saturdays are spent at local craft fairs selling beaded necklaces. In addition, I have taught ESL classes, worked with a local agricultural heritage program, and volunteered in healthcare settings and my church. I get satisfaction from using my gifts to help others learn or find more joy in life. That is part of what makes me feel like I contribute to society and I know that I get back far more than I give. This is not totally altruistic; I love the adventure and the social aspects of what I do. Living with cancer and a shaky immune system made me rethink travel to third world countries where Malaria and other infectious diseases are common and health care is not at the level of quality or availability that we expect here. I need to find new outlets that fit my new boundaries.
Giving back to the community can enrich the giver as much or more than it does the ones served, there is recognition that we make a difference in the lives of others and that feels good. When living with cancer it can give us a focus outside of ourselves. For me, that focus helps keep my own situation in perspective as I work with people who are far less fortunate than I am. In January I worked with a group of primary school kids in Kenya whose schoolroom had a dirt floor and who used sticks in the dirt because they had no paper. I taught them the song “The Wheels on the Bus go Round and Round.” Hearing them master a new song and seeing the joy on their faces was a delight. Helping a mother and her young daughter realize a goal of that daughter going to school instead of the usual alternative of marrying at age 13 made me so conscious of how fortunate we are in this country and how much impact a volunteer can have on the life of an individual.
Now that international travel is on hold, I wonder how I will satisfy my need for adventure and for giving to others in ways that my body will allow. That challenge is what I’ll be exploring when I return to North Carolina.
I think we all need to find a way to stretch beyond ourselves and our families, to give in a way that reminds us that we contribute toward making our community and the world a better place. Knowing that you made an impact, knowing that you add value to someone else’s life can counter so many of the negative thoughts that come from being ill. We need to find areas of our life that are filled with positive feelings and helping others can be a great way to get there.
Advice: Look seriously at your interests, what you love, and at your strengths. That is the first step because you must match the activity you choose to what “turns you on.” Volunteering should be about enjoying the process and doing good work. Don’t say yes to doing something that will not bring you joy.
Then explore the needs in your schools, hospitals, churches, museums, libraries and local community activities. There is a huge need for volunteers in many areas and if you make a few phone calls or talk to friends who teach, work in the helping professions or volunteer. They will help you find a match for your skills. It might be mentoring a young person or building a house, but whatever you choose, it will fill your days with positive energy and serve as a reminder that you are contributing to others.
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