Coming Home

September 3, 2011

We arrived in my home town of Kewaunee, Wisconsin one week ago at midnight after an eighteen hour road trip.  Kewaunee is a small town on the western shore of Lake Michigan about 30 miles east of Green Bay.  Driving down the hill of the main street in town brought memories flooding in from both my childhood and recent years.  We passed the high school, the home where I grew up, the site where our family business was for four generations, and finally, the driveway of my much loved cottage.  I was home!

The first day was spent with family and dear friends who also have roots in Kewaunee.   Lea is the President of the Maasai American Organization, for which I volunteer and which has provided me with incredible adventures in Kenya and Guatemala along with feelings of accomplishment over the last eight years.  It was wonderful to see them and to experience Lea’s absolute comfort with talking about my cancer diagnosis.  She first asked if I was comfortable talking about it (which I am) and then asked very detailed questions.  I am convinced that the way we become comfortable with this still rather taboo subject is by talking about it.  She asked about my fears, about what things most bothered me, about how I was dealing with this issue on a day to day basis. 

Later in the week, several of my high school friends got together for lunch.  We didn’t talk at the level of intimacy that Lea and I had, but it was not treated like the elephant in the corner, nor did we dwell on the topic.  It was so good to laugh about our high school antics, reminisce about the 45 years since we all lived here and all of the changes that happen in our lives between 18 and 60. 

We’ve stopped in to visit my niece and nephew and their two little ones and got the best hugs ever, stopped at the homes of friends and surprised them, had dinner with neighbors and have had friends stop in.  We went to a local festival where I had the opportunity to greet and hug several people and made plans to see others.  It has been a whirlwind of activity and exactly what I needed (I also needed naps on a couple of those days).

What I’ve learned is that surrounding oneself with old friends and family is the best morale booster there is.  These days have energized me and have shown me how much people care and how important it is to stay in contact with those we love.

Advice:   Social contact is healing and it helps us both come to terms with the diagnosis of cancer and see that the cancer is not the most important thing in our lives.  People are.  Make the effort to see old friends and include them in your life.  Even if your cheeks are puffy and your hair is falling out, they will love you like no one else can.  If that isn’t enough to convince you,  research shows that those with social contacts live longer and have more fulfilling lives than those who close themselves off.

You are welcome to take the opportunity to comment on this blog or leave a private email at jodiekacer@aol.com