Expectations

It is one of those beautiful, crisp fall days.  The sun is shining, the sky is bright blue and the trees are shades of yellows, reds and browns amid the evergreen as they reflect on the lake.  Gary and I were enjoying a walk in an undeveloped area near our home when out of the blue he asked, “So, is this what you expected from retirement, living with an old guy in the South?” 
Pause….

First, let’s get this straight.  He’s only 2 years older than I am and I’m certainly not an old gal.  Second, most of what I’ve focused on in the last 6 months has not been what I expected.  It’s been the opposite of what I expected.  What I thought I would have was 25 years or so of healthy retirement, travel, a “better late than never” love affair, and some adventurous volunteer work to keep myself fulfilled.  I have had to restructure my expectations to meet reality. 

What I expect now is that today will be a good day.  That I will be grateful, every day, for what life gives me.  I hesitate to expect anything beyond that, although I want to be here to see summers in Wisconsin and trips to Europe and to see the results of our volunteer programs in Kenya.  I want to see my little grand niece and nephew grow up.

Yesterday we went way beyond the idea of not thinking past today.  We ordered a room full of furniture that will be delivered in 8 – 12 weeks.  What thoughts that sent through my mind.  Of course there were the niggling questions of how long I’d be able to enjoy this, but it is also a statement that I intend to be around to do just that.  My intention is to love this life and this furniture for a long time to come.

Now back to the original question.  No, this is not at all what I expected, but I wouldn’t change today for anything.  It is a beautiful day, I’m with someone who tells me he is glad I am in his life, I feel good.  What more could I ask from a Saturday in November?